I need to emphasis that I said trim in my original post .. Because now I have THAT bad haircut that nobody wants, the one where you need to cover it with a beanie, and never leave the house, until it’s at a length / style that you can only just manage to let anyone see you with.
If you’re lucky, you’ve never experienced this before, and my god, I can only hope you haven’t experienced this before because it is horrible. HORRIBLE I TELL YOU!
First of all, I decided to go with the fringe. Yep .. the Bardot bang. As soon as my hairdresser cut it, I knew I didn’t want it anymore. The tantalizing thought of the fringe pre-cutting was great. I envisioned myself with this great trendy fringe that would be easy to take care of .. Oh how I was WRONG!
Second of all, there was massive miscommunication between my hairdresser and I, and I now have the shortest hair I have ever had. My hair isn’t suited to this short of a length .. It doesn’t want to cooperate. And for the double blow, I don’t know what the hell I’m doing when trying to style this hair because I’ve never had it before. Trying to put a wave into it doesn’t work because it’s too dam short. Straightening it doesn’t work because it’s too darn short. Spraying with sea salt and leaving it otherwise natural doesn’t seem to work.
I’ve spent all weekend viewing several Youtube videos on, “How to Style a Short Bob,” and “How to Style Short Hair,” and they have unfortunately, been no help.
There is a part of me that is quite upset about this experience, simply because I loved my haircut previously, and I knew what I was doing with it. I felt sexy and confident with my hair, and knew if I did it a certain way it would look half decent at least.
This whole weekend, no matter what Mr A said to me, I was taking it the wrong way. He likes my new haircut, and my fringe, but because I feel so terrible about the whole experience, any nice comment he said to me was totally extrapolated and taken out of context. And that’s not nice, and not how I want to feel, or how I want to make Mr A feel at all.
Which leads me to the reason I’ve posted a very, very brief summary of my experience with my new haircut (because trust me, there are a million details and emotions that I’m leaving out to get this main item that I want to discuss).
I wanted to post this whole experience because it’s made me realise something. Once again, my physical appearance, whether hair or weight does not define me as a person.
I am still the same fun loving, healthy, happy, giving, caring person I was before my hair cut. And this weekend, I totally forgot this fact. And this bugs me, because I think I forgot this fact because I was too worried about what other people’s opinions of my hair were going to be. I was convinced people were staring at me and thinking, “Whats on her head?!” when in fact, they likely couldn’t care less.
I was so caught up in the shallowness of my haircut, that I forgot to take stock of what I have in life; a caring, loving, wonderful husband, an amazing best best friend anyone could ask for, family who care about what happens to me and my life, and friends who support me no matter what.
THAT is what is important .. Not whether I can straighten or curl my hair anymore, not whether I have to spend more time on it now, or any negative thing I’m thinking about my hair. Because honestly, it’s hair, it’ll grow .. And it sure as hell doesn’t define the person I am. I’m going to embrace this slight deviation in my hair journey, and whilst I’m dam well going to make sure it doesn’t happen again, I’m not going to let it bother me any longer.
All those lovely comments that Mr A gave me that I blew off because of how I’m feeling .. I’m going to be thankful that I have a husband who is supportive and kind no matter what the situation. I’m going to be thankful that I have friends who gave me compliments over the weekend, instead of thinking to myself that they were only saying those things to make me feel better. I’m going to keep going about my daily life as I did with longer hair, because at least I have hair.
I know this all seems very shallow and self involved, and I kind of apologise for that .. I just wanted to share the thought that our outward appearance shouldn’t have such an effect on our mental state, or mental health, just like our weight shouldn’t control our happiness.